To me, genders are like characters in a fandom that I could LARP as, which is fine (LARPing is fun and cool). But even though I have no interest in this particular fandom, queerphobia and the way gender interacts with racism obliges me to perform anyway, and I resent the hell out of it. I do not want to participate but queerphobia+racism threatens me if I go.
I'm glad other people really Are a particular gender and can locate themselves within it on a deep level regardless of their gender assigned at birth, and that it's not just LARPing, it's real and important.
For me it feels like an axis of identity that does not exist internally at all except in the expectations of others and fear around failing to gender.
A community that builds us.