grumpleupagus @oya@ubuntu.buzz

the chocolate made the cornflakes too wet so they weren't crunchy any more

melted some chocolate. added some peanuts and cornflakes. put it on top of ice cream. it's alright

Anyway, there's a famine in Madagascar right now that's solely the fault of colonizer, imperialist, and capitalist-caused climate change. People are dying of hundreds of years of bad decisions by other countries who sought economic, social, and political domination. It's pretty outrageous! Certain countries who for hundreds of years unrepentantly cause shit like this ought to stop existing.

Thinking about this dude I used to date. Whenever I made a mistake he'd say 'my partner filled out this form wrong,' but whenever he made a mistake, he'd say 'we filled out this form wrong,' and that's how white imperialist colonizer countries act about climate change

Feelings. Can't live with em, can't live without em amirite boys?

Sometimes I'll temporarily drift back into my previous numb state because of a familiar smell or location and I'll be slightly relieved for about two minutes. Cuz it can get tiring to feel exhausted, angry, sad, enraged, etc. And Numb Oya doesn't feel those things.

But like, it also feels suffocating to be so opaque to myself. After a minute I start hating being numb. When I'm tired of feelings (like now), it helps to remind myself how much I hated being numb.

Thinking about how a professional would think I was doing better several years ago.

I had lots of hobbies, interests, and (shitty) friends but was cut off from my deeper feelings.

I was hella functional when I was numb but I felt completely trapped in my conditioning. I would have moments of indescribable baffling melancholy and I wouldn't be able to explore it because my emotional world was kinda closed to myself. So. I dunno.

I don't even know why I want to evaluate whether I'm "doing better" than I was several years ago. Would that be comforting somehow? Do I want to feel like progress towards 100% Sane Oya ™️ has been made?

I'm simply moving through shit. There's a lot of shit, and I'm moving through it, and I'm becoming a lot of different interesting people along the way. Having a lot of thoughts. Feeling a lot of feelings. I am doing it.

Some people have hobbies and interests, I have Processing My Trauma

Down to the makeup (ec). Look at Yaya DaCosta. Look what they did with her eye makeup and lashes.

Look at this shit. So pretty, so crispy.

And the plot is cool as hell. But it was hard to notice the good stuff because they fell so fuckin deep into the uncanny valley with the de-aging stuff

The protagonist is bland and the writing is not great but I'd play it muted in the background any party or bar or get-together

Remembering how much I love the aesthetics of tron: legacy